Quarter-life Crisis

I hate obligations.

I mean, I know everybody does, or else they wouldn't

consider them obligatory. But I DETEST them.

I think it is mostly because I hate feeling out of control,

or like something has some sort of power over me.

For example: People were initially surprised that I stopped playing

sports. If you knew me in high school, or even before that,

you would know that my life was consumed by sports.

I lived, breathed, ate, and drank softball & volleyball.

Don't get me wrong, I love those sports with all my heart...

(my volleyball team, senior year. I'm #11)

I just felt so controlled by them.

So when I went to college, I decided that

I wouldn't let anything control me.

Another example: religion.

Many people (even those that I am really

close to) aren't aware of how religious I am,

probably because I do not attend church. The thing is,

I believe strongly in Christian ideals and I pray everyday.

I have friends that have invited me to go to church

or bible study with them, but I always refuse because I feel

that allowing social pressures to influence my religious practices

will make them feel like an obligation.

And that is the last thing I want.

So let me get to the point here:

Lately I have been really resenting the educational process.

Yes, I know, I am a college student and what college

student does not feel somewhat obligated to attend school?

Some people say that college cannot be an obligation

because nobody is actually forcing us to go,

but I beg to differ.

All our lives, we have been told that we won't succeed in life

unless we go to college (and now, grad school?).

And it goes without saying that we all want to

succeed in life; to be happy. College is just the means to an end.

So, in essence, college is an obligation.

Sometimes I can't help but

to feel so stifled by my

educational environment.

I am no artist, but I know I have some artistic blood

flowing through my veins and I am constantly searching for

creative outlets. Recently, my favorites have been

baking (duh!), coloring in my coloring book (freakishly therapeutic),

painting my nails, reading, and watching movies (wishing I could make them).

I just feel this overwhelming urge to create,

but an inability to do so.

Why can't I succeed in life by doing these things?!

(This question is purely rhetoric. I know that "success" in

this society is determined by financial stability, which cannot

be achieved by painting your nails all day).

But a girl can dream, right?

I think I am just getting antsy because the end of my

educational career is now within reach

and I am so anxious to finish.

I just want so badly for my life to have meaning,

and to one day feel as though I am doing

exactly what I want to be doing,

precisely what I am supposed to be doing,

and only what I was born to do.

(me & papá)

And I am hoping that that day will come sooner rather than later...

twenty

You know how everybody asks you on your birthday,

"How does it feel to be [insert age here]?"

But you know they are asking you jokingly because

there is no possible way that you could feel any different

than you did the day before?

Well as of last friday, I am twenty.

And it feels WAY different than nineteen! Seriously!

I just feel so old and experienced and mature --

I mean, I am no longer a teenager!

(Please note that I am currently watching Hannah Montana).

Birthday was fun, blah blah blah :P

Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday,

via skype, text, phonecall, card, or facebook comment.

Y'all sure know how to make a gal feel special :)

(Sorry, but Miley's southern twang is contagious).

SO GUESS WHAT?! GUESS WHAT MY

AMAZING BOYFRIEND GAVE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

HE PAID FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH TWO OF MY GOALS!

#081: Take a mud bath

&

#087: Get a professional massage

I knew something was up when he

told me to bring my bathing suit... I mean

there was a huge storm all over CA last week!

But Saturday morning, he surprised me by taking

me to Burke WIlliams, a beautiful spa in Irvine.

It was literally b r e a t h - t a k i n g.

Once you got past the main lobby,

everything was dimly-lit with white candles

and white christmas lights wrapped around

(plastic) cherry blossom trees.

And you know how I feel about Christmas lights!

And the entire place was perfumed with scented oils.

I am smiling just thinking about it.

Bryan joked that I would be excited to

see a bunch of hot naked girls.

Except, have you ever been to an all-women's spa before???

Or sauna? Or steam room?

The majority of the women there look more like this:

Okay, okay, there were some young, pretty girls,

but there were plenty of women that resembled those in the picture above

(did I mention it was a "European style" spa? Meaning... clothing was

optional. Meaning... most of the older women weren't wearing any).

The thing is, you might assume it was disturbing,

or that I was grossed out. But to be honest, I loved it.

It was really beautiful to see women who felt so

comfortable in their own skin, with each other, and with life itself.

It was so refreshing to be in an environment

where society's ridiculous expectations for once did not apply.

I was in awe.

♥♥♥♥♥

So the massage was RIDIKALUS!

(kind of like the back of yo head).

I can't even describe it. GO GET ONE!

But I was dyinnngg to have my mudbath.

I have always wanted one! Haven't you?!

I expected it to be something like this:

But it was more like this:

"But, but... where is the mud?!" I asked the attendant.

Apparently, there's this new fancy thing called "Fango Mud".

The website describes, "we combine fango, a very fine mud,

with essential oils of rosemary to create a bathing experience

that smells delightful and is highly therapeutic".

So it was kind of like a bubble bath

that smelled really, really good.

Since it technically was a mud-bath,

I am going to cross it off my list.

But I am definitely still planning on going to one

of those huge pools of mud and playing in it.

Because I am gross like that.

So, the moral of the story is,

go to a spa. You will have the time of your life.

Oh, but bring your sisters, or friends, or Mom,

because I was kind of lonely :/

Oh yeah --

And thank you to Bryan for an incredible experience :)

♥

Gettin' Fancy

If you look at my list of 101 Things on the left sidebar,

you will notice that you can now click the goals

that have been crossed off to read my entry for it.

Yay :)

P.S. I stole the idea from Bryan ♥

He is clever sometimes.

Here comes the sun...

Another beautiful weekend ♥

Sunday morning, I somehow got Bryan out of bed

(if you know Bryan at all, you know that he does not do mornings, haha)

and we drove to Campus Point to watch

the sun rise over the beach.

We ran into a slight complication on the way...

but it was so worth it.

Especially since I accomplished goal

#011: Watch the sunrise

And then Bryan whipped out his fancy Droid

and took this amazing picture:

To keep the morning going a little longer,

we went out to breakfast in downtown Santa Barbara.

Have you ever heard of the Tupelo Junction Cafe?

It is officially my favorite breakfast spot ever.

Bryan will blog about it later

so I won't give away all the juicy details...

Just know, if you're ever looking for a great eating experience,

in an adorable cafe, with friendly service,

and delicious food (southern style -- apple cinnamon beignets anyone?),

this is where you should go.

I mean, they served fresh squeezed orange juice

out of little jam jars! I was dying!

I was going to try to accomplish goal

006. Order what the person at the next table is having

at the restaurant, but I just couldn't!

I will next time, I promise :)

Ps. four days until my birthday ♥

Black girls in Santa Barbara

If it is at all possible,
I would like to rewind my life,
press play on friday,
and live it again.

What is that you say? It is not possible?
Fine. Then I will relive it here.

Friday night, after watching 10 Things I Hate About You
(with a whole new perspective, might I add),
and Pirates of the Caribbean with my roomies,
my baby sister arrived!

We walked over to Freebirds and shared my favorite:

CHACHOS (chicken nachos, for the IV illiterates).

When we got back home, I painted her toesies (a deep wine color),

we played some drinking games in the backyard with some friends,

and then we went out to explore IV.

If you would like to have a night as fun as ours, follow these rules:

~ bring a candy cane into IV with you

~ find a hammock!

~ swing on said hammock

~ walk home singing Party in the USA on the top of your lungs

On saturday we walked over to Starbucks for snacks

(so it was already a good day!).

And then! My mamasita arrived with Mitch the Bitch!

We went downtown and:

stuffed ourselves silly with Palazzo, visited B&N,

and watched Avatar in 3D at the Arlington theater.

Holy Moly. Avatar?

Blew me away.

I had my doubts, but James Cameron is one fantastic storyteller.

That film was markedly the strongest admonishment against

Western Imperialism that I have ever seen.

Like any normal group of people would,

we immediately went back to my apartment and devoured some

ice cream sundaes to end the night. NOM NOM NOM.

Sunday morning, Melissa & I begrudgingly got out of bed

to join Mom & Michelle for brunch.

We went to Sambo's, which is downtown, right on the beach!

Somebody had a few mimosas but I don't want to name any names...

But like all good things, this weekend had to come to an end.

Melissa is back in Irvine,

Michelle & Mom are home,

And I am still here.

I am somewhat excited to see how my new classes go this week...

but mostly I am counting down the days until it is over.

(Please hurry)

♥

2010, anyone?

So Bryan and I FINALLY got to celebrate his birthday!

We went to a Brazilian Barbeque in Irvine on New Year's Eve.

If you have ever been to a Brazilian Barbeque,

you are probably wondering why on earth I would wear

a tight black dress. Believe me, I asked myself that same question.

After dinner, Bryan, Jim, and I drove over to my house

in San Gabriel to join in the festivities.

We somehow fit around twenty people into a tiny room...

It was a m a z i n g. And everyone was sippin'

on cider, champagne, and other yummy things :)

(Everyone except me that is. I was DD)

It was a really great night.

I could not have asked for better people to ring in the New Year with.

Sisters, friends, boyfriend ♥

Happy 2010!

♥♥♥♥♥

My winter break was, for lack of better words,

perfect.

I am back in Santa Barbara now and

actually feel ready to take on the new quarter.

That feeling probably has something to do with

a goal I accomplished for the Day Zero Project,

#048: Finish a particular journal entry.

I did. And... it felt really good.

Like, better than I thought it would.

I forgot how therapeutic writing can be.

I also forgot how therapeutic coloring can be...

but that is neither here nor there, haha :)

Okay, okay, you squeezed it out of me.

I brought a coloring book back from home and plan on buying

another very soon. Has anybody seen a Princess and the Frog one?

♥